Monty Navarro, you know you don't belong here!
Monty Navarro, you're on a slippery slope!
Your presence is indubitably wrong here
May we suggest
We think you'd best
Abandon hope!

Abandon hope

But go ahead and take the door
As long as you are here
Buy yours

When a fellow needs a little helping hand
Who'll be there? It's almost guaranteed
No one else could ever really understand
Only another man knows what you need
And when a man has fallen down upon his knees
In such a moment who'd be better than
Someone who's self-controlle

Pigs might fly
Foolish to think she would marry you
Why would she sink so low?
You've only a claim to a noble old name
Who could blame her for saying no?

Foolish to dream she's in love with you
You're a fool to believe that kiss
The man who inspires such breathless

REVEREND LORD EZEKIAL (spoken):
Oh...ah...I'm...I'm afraid I shall need your hand, please!

MONTY (spoken):
Yes, of course, my lord!
(sung):
Foolish to think I could let him fall
He's on the brink it seems
But why should I pause when I know the cause of Mother's shat

Monty? Monty!
Don't you just love me in pink?
Would you please
Maybe a flower for my hair?
No, no. Yes! No
Violet, no attar of roses I think
Look, you brought me chocolates!
Oh no, I don't dare

Do you hate these earrings?
Now the truth, don't be kind
I d

I say, you there!
Hands off that sword!

Put down that book!
Isn't enough we let you look?
I hate to dash your futile little hopes
But you pay your sixpence
And stay behind the ropes!

I cringe when every cobbler
Or butcher or farmer
Comes touching my banist

If I’m ever to show my face in society again
I’ve got to find a new cause of my own, and quickly!
Come, come, any ideas?

Daisy Greville has the old
Lady Sitwell has the blind

And the fund for sailors' widows?
That’s the two of them combined
Night school for the ne

For those of you of weaker constitution
For those of you who may be faint of heart
This is a tale of revenge and retribution
So if you’re smart
Before we start
You’d best depart
You’d best depart

An usher fainted in the aisle
A nun from leicester lost her wits

You and I go sailing by and no one will know where to find us
Unseen, unknown, and blissfully alone
We're leaving the riff-raff behind us
All afternoon in our sweet cocoon
Our cares for the moment at bay
Side by side who knows how far we'll glide
Bid the world goodbye eag

Monty, it's so strange
Everything will change
Think how our lives will be
I don't know what you'll do without me

Poor Monty
You're awfully handsome and smart
Poor Monty
You'll rise above
You'll put the loss of Sibella behind
And you will find someone better

I see a nose that belongs on a coin
And there's that smile, with a secret inside
And here are two eyes, that are bright!
With a mischievous light
You try but
Can't quite hide

(Oh Monty)

Oh there's that voice with the promise of sin
And, oh those lips
Are t