Big dick dan was a hell of a man,
He could jerk off and fill a garbage can.
He was a one percenter, he was mean and cruel,
He could fart in the gas tank and run top fuel.
They called him big dick dan, big dick dan, big dick dan,
All the school girl tramps'll tell ya he's a

Well there's a whore house on the bad side down in new orleans, one girl got my money, the other got my shirt and jeans.
Hell, i'm lucky if i dont get herpes, they even took my stash.
I'd like to put a thousand miles between me and louisiana,
But i just dont have the cash.

I s

Well i didn't mind the pimples on her behind,
And i didn't care 'bout the crusties in her hair.
But man it sure is rough,
When you are goin down on that muff,
And you open up your eyes, and much to your surprise...

She's got dingleberries, and funky doo doo.
Umm dingleb

Well i talk to my son until i'm blue in the face,
He's a rock n' roll bum, a family disgrace.
He lays around the house, smokes dope and masturbates,
Tell me son, what do you want to be?

Well your a worthless young s*** as i've ever seen,

You know there's much more to life