The Play

[Mr. Reyes]
Places for scene two!
People, remember: Once puck gives you the pansy serum
You have to really sell that you're transforming into a zombie
Excellent work, ms. Valentine

[Jeremy]
Excellent? But chloe's terrible, she never remembers her-
Mr. Reyes? You can't let anyone drink from that beaker!

[Mr reyes]
Don't be silly! It's more than safe! I should know, I tried it myself

[Squip]
Up, up, down, down, left, right, a

[Jeremy]
I have to get out there!

[Mr reyes]
I can't let you do that, jeremy

[Jeremy]
Mr. Reyes?

[Mr reyes]
You needy, pathetic, self-centered students!
You think I wanted to teach high school drama? In new jersey?
My squip says I can go all the way to broadway!
I just have to keep you from ruining my big night!

[Jeremy]
You're going to squip the whole cast!

[Squip]
That's just for starters!

[Jeremy]
That's not what I wanted!

[Squip]
It's the only way to achieve what you want!

[Jeremy]
I'll fight back! Alcohol messes you up, right? I'll get drunk!

[Squip]
And I'll be back when you're sober!
Unless you plan on staying wasted forever?

[Jeremy]
You're a computer, there has to be a way to turn you off

[Squip]
I'd stop there. You don't want to end up like rich

[Jeremy]
Rich? What did he-?

[Rich, echoed]
I need mountain dew red!

[Jeremy]
That's it! Green mountain dew activates you, red shuts you off!

[Squip]
Why do you think we had it discontinued?
To get rid of me now, you'd need a time machine to the 1990's!

[Jeremy]
Or a friend who's so old-school
He buys 90's soft drinks in the back room at spencer's gifts!

[Squip]
Too bad you don't have one of those
Anymore

[Jeremy]
Michael! Call michael!

[Squip]
I'm going to improve your life, jeremy
If I have to take over the entire student body to do it!

[Michael]
Michael makes an entrance! (haha)

[Jeremy]
Michael!

[Michael]
I was just in the audience, thinking: This is pretty good for a school play!
Then I was like: This is way too good for a school play!
They've all been squipped, right?

[Jeremy]
W-w-wait, you came to see me in the play?

[Michael]
Even brought my own refreshments!

[Ensemble]
Ah ah ah ah ah ah!

[Jeremy]
Is that?!

[Michael]
Mountain dew red!
Told you I did my research!
Oh, hey, jake?
This is gonna sound weird, but if I hold down jeremy
Can you make him drink this mountain dew red?

[Jake]
Actually, that doesn't sound weird at all

[Squip]
Up, up, down, down, left, right, a

[Jake]
Ow!

[Squip]
Ha ha ha

[Jake]
I was already pretty boss before
Now I'm totally boss and then some more!
I'm livin' the upgrade!

[Chloe and brooke]
There you are, jeremy

La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la la la

[Brooke]
I just want you to know I'm not mad
That you broke my heart and then slept with my best friend

[Chloe]
And I'm not mad you dated my best friend and didn't sleep with me

[Brooke]
He didn't sleep with you?

[Chloe]
No

[Brooke]
He didn't sleep with me!

[Chloe]
No!

[Both]
Ohmygod, why was I so jealous of you?
You were jealous of me?
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!
Sisters forever! Jinx!

[Michael]
Ugh

[Jeremy]
Michael, the bottle! There's still a few drops left!

[Michael]
How am I supposed to get past them?

[Jeremy]
Apocalypse of the damned! Level nine!

[Both]
The cafetorium!

[Michael]
Got it!

[Both]
Find the bad guy, push 'em aside
Then move on forward with your friend at your side!
It's a two player game, so when they make an attack
You know you got a brother gonna have your back!
Then you stay on track and- ah!- remain on course
And if they give you a smack you- gah!- you use your force
And if you leave your brother behind that's lame
'Cause it's an effed up world but it's a two player game!
Hey!

[Jenna roland]
I know what you're doing, michael
I know what everyone's doing! All the time!

[The cast of the play]
I just feel soooo connected to you guys right now!

[Squip]
Ah! You don't want to drink that, jeremy!

[Jeremy]
Why not?

[Squip]
Because then you'll never be with her!

[Christine]
You are the person I want to be with every day
And this is something that I've been afraid to say

[Jeremy]
That is not christine

[Squip]
I assure you, it is!
Only her fears and her insecurities have been removed!

[Christine + ensemble]
You're the guy I am so kinda into (into)
The guy I am totally into (into)
This feeling is new
Jeremy
I love you

[Squip]
That's your cue!

[Jeremy]
She'll do whatever I want!

[Squip]
That's what I promised!

[Jeremy]
Great. Drink this

[Squip]
Wait-

[Christine]
Ah!

[All]
Ah!

[Squip]
Jeremy!
J-je-jeremy?
Jere-re
Ah
Woah
Ah
Woah
Ah
Woah
Woah!
Jeremy!
Jere-
Ah!