A Letter To Everyone Who’s Hurt Me

I thought it was normal to watch your parents fight
It taught me dysfunction was just part of life
That love's just a word that we use to excuse our mistakes
Now I can't tell if I'm afraid or just jaded
I guess I'm just scared to end up the way they did
How do I unlearn the ways I deal with pain
When that was all they taught me?

To everyone I've loved who's let me down
Let this letter hold what I can't say out loud

What do I owe you for who I became?
Should I say thank you or curse your name?
Do I give you credit or all of the blame?
'Cause growth and pain always feel thе same
Feel the same, feel thе same

I try to avoid it when I meet somebody new
I fall for the same shit that I did with you
'Cause there's comfort in chaos and that's why I kept you around
It's insane to me that this could be the medicine and the disease
A cigarette that's killin' me, yet I still wanna breathe in
I keep tryin' to wash off the smell, but it's stuck on my skin

What do I owe you for who I became?
Should I say thank you or curse your name?
Do I give you credit or all of the blame?
'Cause growth and pain always feel the same
I wanted to fix this, I thought we could change
But when will I learn that's a damn mistake?
And I'll keep on givin' 'til my body breaks
'Cause growth and pain always feel the same
Feel the same, feel the same, feel the same, oh

I know it's not your fault
But I don't know who to blame, oh (oh)
(Love and hate, growth and pain, love and hate)
(They feel the same, feel the same, feel the same)

Still don't know the difference, I hope that can change
'Cause love and hate, they still feel the same, feel the same