[Barbara]
Look at this stuff
God, it's depressing

[Adam]
You don't like this stuff?
Barbara, this is our stuff

[Barbara]
A shrine to the feelings
We've been repressing

[Adam]
Well, then maybe we should go

[Barbara]
Unfinished projects
M

[Lydia]
Way back when
I was just ten
Simple and sweet
Everywhere
Fellas would stare
Out on the street
And I felt used
Kinda confused
I would refuse to look in their eyes
But now I really love creepy old guys!

[All]
We all do!

[Barbara]

Day-o, day-o

Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Work all night on a drink of rum
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Stack banana till de mornin' come
Daylight come

[Lydia]
Hey Mom, Dead Mom
I need a little help here
I'm prob'ly talking to myself here
But Dead Mom I gotta ask
Are you really in the ground?
Cause I feel you all around me
Are you here, dead Mom?
Dead Mom

Dead Mom
I'm tired of trying to iron out my crea

[Betelgeuse]
Okay
Listen up, I'm not gonna lie
Right now, you couldn't frighten a fly
Or scare a seagull off of a fry
You ever stop to ask yourselves, why?

Both of you are super polite
Middle class, suburban, and white
Well, all of that is finished tonight
E

[Girl Scout]
This is it
The day I've been waiting for
Wishing, hoping, working, and praying for
The day my parents have been delaying for years
Ooh, I'm gonna sell some cookies

It's not their fault that they're overprotective
I was born with arrhythmia
My heart

[Betelgeuse]
There's gonna be a
Good old-fashioned wedding
With some dancing and un-deading
With a cover-band is cranking
And the age gap will be upsetting
When I finally say I do
I'll be alive and born anew
And I'll be boring just like you
Oh boy, I'm on my w

[Lydia]
Mama, I could use some help here
Tired of talking to myself here
Back at home, you don't exist
So here I am in the abyss
Are you really in this place?
It's like the emptiness of space
I could search for all eternity
And never see your face
Help me out<

[Betelgeuse]
You're invisible when you’re me
There's no one to see my truth
If they could look up they’d see
Hey, somebody's on the roof!

God, it's mortifying
What's the point of even trying?
'Cus now
I'm trapped with no escape
Banished, disavowed
I vani

Shake, shake, shake, Senora, shake your body line
Shake, shake, shake, Senora, shake it all the time
Work, work, work, Senora, work your body line
Work, work, work, Senora, work it all the time

My girl's name is Senora
I tell you friends, I adore her
And when she dances

[Delia]
The universe
Is more than just space with no end
La-la-la-la-la!
Just think of the universe as a female best friend
And you can be like
Hey, Universe, what's happening, girl?
And she'll be like
Oh, nothing - just running the world
And you'll be like Wh

[Ensemble]
Daylight come and we wan' go

[Pastor]
In times like these, we have no words
We have only each other
Today we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz
Devoted wife of Charles
Beloved mother to Lydia
Scripture tells us
Sorrow not, for we do

[Barbara]
That needy pervert was right
If we want our house back, we have to fight for it

[Adam]
Well, how?
No one can see us!

[Barbara]
We're ghosts, damn it!
Let's
Haunt this bitch!

[Adam]
Barbara!

[Barbara]
Oblivion calls
So we m

Look at this crib
In all of its glorious antiquary
Every curve and surface speaks to me
Saying: Pamper and spoil me
Sand me and oil me
Come on
I know to the untrained eye it's boring
But nothing's a chore when you're restoring
Apart from frustration, pain, and fin

[Beetlejuice]
You could use a buddy
Don't you want a pal?
(Yes I do! Yes I do!)
Girl, the way I see it
Your daddy should be leavin'
And you should stick around!

(And kill him!)

[Lydia]
What?

[Beetlejuice]
Nothing

So, Lydia, don't end yourse

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Do you hear that sound

[LYDIA, spoken]
That beautiful sound

[BETELGEUSE:]
That is the sound, of clean, white, shorts turning brown
Torture and pain

[BETELGEUSE (GIRL SCOUT, spoken)]
Breaking a brain (This is so weird!)
A sound that s

[Betelgeuse]
Do ya' hear that sound?

That beautiful sound

The sound of a super evil plan going down
Being bad rocks
She's in for a shock
As soon as she lifts the lid on

[All]
Pandora's Box!

[Betelgeuse (other Betelgeuses)]
I'm the man with a plan

[Betelgeuse]
Hey, folks! Begging your pardon!
'Scuse me! Sorry to barge in
Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole
Y'know
Being dead thing

You're doomed! Enjoy the singing
The sword of Damocles is swinging
And if I hear your cell-phone ringing
I'll k

[Betelgeuse]
Ready? Okay!

Hi! I'll be your guide
I'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side
Don't go to the Netherworld

[Adam]
Netherworld?

[Betelgeuse]
Did I say Netherworld? Never mind
I'm the B-to-the-double-E-J-F-U
And Jesus, I can't spell

[M

I was hot
I went to parties a lot
Y'know?
I was driving Lamborghinis
Sipping super-dry martinis
In the tiniest bikinis on a yacht
But I was depressed
Also completely obsessed
An unhappy beauty queen
Who dreamed to be Miss Argentina
I had such low self-este