[SOLDIERS]
One, two! One, two!

[MILES]
We not only fought, but we won, too!

[SOLDIERS]
One, two! One, two!
Left, right! Left, right!

[MILES]
There's none of the enemy left, right?

[SOLDIERS]
Right! Left...right...right? Left?

[MILES]
Halt

[PSEUDOLUS]
Something familiar,
Something peculiar,
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!

Something appealing,
Something appalling,
Something for everyone:
A comedy tonight!

Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns;
Bring on the lovers, liars and cl

[SENEX]
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Everybody ought to have a working girl,
Everybody ought to have a lurking girl
To putter around the house.
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Everybody ought to have a menial
Consistantly congenial
And quieter than a mouse.

[pseudolus]
Lovers divided
Get co-incided.
Something for everyone--

[hero & philia]
A comedy tonight!

[pseudolus]
Father and mother
Get one another.

[domina]
Something for everyone--

[senex]
A tragedy tonight!

[miles]
I get th

[PSEUDOLUS]
Oh, what a word!
Oh, what a word!
Say it again.

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
I often thought,
I often dreamed how it would be--
And yet I never thought I'd be--
Once again.

[HERO]
Free!

[PSEUDOLUS]
But when you come to think

[MILES]
Sound the flute,
Blow the horn,
Pluck the lute,
Forward, mourn!

[MOURNERS]
Ahh...ahhh...ahhhh...

[MILES]
Ah!

[MOURNERS]
Ah!

[MILES]
All Crete was at her feet,
All Thrace was in her thrall,
All Sparta loved her sweetness, and

[HYSTERIUM]
I'm calm,
I'm calm,
I'm perfectly calm,
I'm utterly under control.
I haven't a worry:
Where others would hurry I stroll.
I'm calm,
I'm cool,
A gibbering fool
Is something I never become.
When thunder is rumbling
And others are crumbling

[SENEX]
Why did he look at her that way?

[HERO]
Why did he look at her that way?

[SENEX & HERO]
Must be my imagination.

[SENEX]
She's a lovely blooming flower, he's just a sprout--
Impossible!

[HERO]
She's a lovely blooming flower, he's all wor

[HERO]
Now that we're alone, may I tell you:
I've been feeling very strange.
Either something's in the air, or else a change
Is happening in me.

I think I know the cause--
I'm sure I know the cause--
From everything I've heard, there's only one cause it can be.

<

[PHILIA]
I'm lovely,
All I am is lovely.
Lovely is the one thing I can do.

Winsome,
What I am is winsome,
Radiant as in some
Dream come true.

Oh, Isn't it a shame?
I can neither sew
Nor cook nor read or write my name.
But I'm happy
Merely being

[pseudolus]
You're lovely,
Absolutely lovely.
Who'd believe the loveliness of you?
Perfect,
Sweet and warm and winsome,
Radiant as in some
Dream come true.
Now venus would seem tame,
Helen and her thou-
Sand ships would have to die of shame.
You're so

[PSEUDOLUS]
In the Tiber there sits a boat,
Gently dipping its bow,
Trim and tidy and built to float.
Pretty little picture? Now:
Put a boy on the starboard side,
Leaning out of the rail.
Next to him put a blushing bride,
Slim and slender and starry-eyed,
Down

[DOMINA]
For over thirty years
I've cried myself to sleep,
Assailed by doubts and fears
So great the gods themselves would weep.
The moment I am gone,
I wonder where he'll go.
In all your simple hon-
Esty, you can't begin to know.

Ohhhhh, ohhhhh, ahhhhh...</

[PHILIA]
Let the Captain wed me and woo me,
I will play my part.
Let him make his mad passion to me,
You will have my heart.
He can have the body he paid for,
Nothing but the body he paid for.
When he has the body he paid for,
Our revenge will start!
When I ki