Broken-Hearted Lover's Stew

And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two
In a broken-hearted lover's stew

There are nine carrots to remind me of the ring I bought for you
Some mint for all the lovely things we meant to d
A lettuce 'cause your mom and dad would not let us alone
I won't put in the truffles, you've got truffles of your own

An artichoke for the hearty jokes your father used to tell
And as he was a Welshman, we'll have a leek as well
And your cousin, the religious one – so sanctimonious
For him, some loaves and fishes 'cause that's all he ever does

(And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two)
In a broken-hearted lover's stew

There is a swede for the Scandinavian man you left for me
An egg because you used to egg me on incessantly
And your little baby brother – what a messy little kid
For him, some wine and water 'cause that's all he ever did
Oh, I was fond of olives, and you liked herbs, I know
I gave up seeing Olive, but Herb didn't want to go
So for the man who won you, there is one thing I must do
Put in some sage and onions 'cause he wants stuffing too

(And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two)
In a broken-hearted lover's stew
(Oh, poo!)