Trapper Song

I can catch a helpless animal,
Skin it with my bare hands.
I wake up muddy,
And I go to bed bloody,
'Cause I'm a trappin' man.

I can brave the nastiest weather.
Weather!
Even if it's 80 below.
Below!
My pa was an elephant, but that's irrelevant.
My ma was an Eskimo.

I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast.
Breakfast!
With beaver butt on the side.
The side!
My mind's magnificent and my body no different.
I'm full of trapper pride!

Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Rip their fur, cut their skin with my knife.
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
One thing's for sure, there's nothing like a trappin' life!

I'm badder than the baddest sailor!
Sailor!
I make love to women 10 feet tall.
Good lord!
I've got a chest of wonder and balls of thunder.
I can break right through a wall.

I love the sound of metal,
Metal!
Snapping on an animal's head.
Ka-chink!
Sometimes they scamper
Sometimes they whimper
But they always end up dead.

(Interlude by Nutter)
I've always wanted to be somebody
Who didn't get pushed around.
Now that I'm a trapper,
I'm the meanest guy around.
(Frenchy interrupts)
Second meanest!

The blood of a fresh-cut rodent
Is as sweet as brandy wine.
And the brain of an antelope
Tastes like cantaloupe.
What a yummy life!

Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Rip their fur, cut their eyes out with my knife.
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!