Feel Better

I don't wanna feel better
No one's ever gonna love me like that again
I don't wanna get over you
I wanna sit with you in bed

I don't wanna feel better
I'd give anything to miss you again
I don't wanna get over it
I wanna get under it instead

The book sits on top of clean and messy blankets
On a bed that fuckin' creaks at night
When I get in it late
And late at night, I'm chugging gatorade
And someone's breaking up when I crack up
Because I know I'll never know just what to say

I'm a communist, a terrorist, an mpdg thot
Or I'm a sad girl in a dorm room
Living out the shady christian plot of twilight
Or the bible or the lover by duras
Or I'm just really fuckin' selfish
And really fuckin' lost

But someone loved me
Someone fucking loved me
Someone fucking loved me
And I fuckin' loved them too
Goddamn it, I was worth something
I fuckin' learned something
I had my, I had my cake

I don't wanna feel better
(I don't wanna feel better)
(I'd give anything to miss you again)
(I don't wanna get over it)
(I wanna rip it to shreds)

We kept our liquor in a suitcase underneath my bed
And we drank it to go out
Or just stay in, or to feel sad
But in a hot way, a way I'll fuckin' never have again
The Sun has began to set

I'm a socialist, marxist, libertarian slut
I am an awkward teenage virgin
And I sort of kinda laugh a lot in bed
But other times I cry or don't make noise at all
I'd give my life to have a room
That feels that small

'Cause someone loved me
Someone fucking loved me
Someone fucking loved me
I loved them too
Goddamn it, I was worth something
I fuckin' earned something
I had a right to die, a right to live
A right to choose, too

And God, no!
Of course, I don't wanna feel better!
Can you fucking imagine?!

No one's ever gonna love me like that again
I don't wanna get over it
I wanna rip the stars to shreds
I don't wanna feel better

Of course, it hurt, of course, it fuckin' hurt
It hurt like nothing in the world sometimes
That I was super scared, and we were all a train-wreck
And also somehow making it
I think I might've died there twice
And I would do it all again

I'm a nihilist, a soldier, an ocd-machine
Or I'm a healthy baby-girl
Who traded sunshine for disease
But when my head hit my cheap pillow
I could tell I had a heart
And I wanna tear this fascist milky way apart

'Cause someone loved me, someone fuckin' loved me
All my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew
Goddamn it, I was worth something
I fuckin' learned something
And it felt better in my mouth than fresh warm food

I guess I loved you, I guess I really loved you
All my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew
And now you're over there and I'm way over here
What am I gonna do?

I don't wanna feel better
No one's ever gonna love me like that again
I don't wanna get over you
I wanna sit with you in bed
I don't wanna feel better
(I don't wanna feel better)