Lullaby For Lawyers

There are rats there are bats
There are stinky mangy cats
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
There are weasels there are skunks
There are bandits there are punks
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
With their quips and their quiddities
Their fees and their contingencies...

There are lice there are mice
There are lots of things not nice
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
With their 'res ipso locuter'
And their 'respondeat superior'
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.

There's thrombosis, halitosis
and there's diverticulosis
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
Diarrhea, gonorrhea and seborrhea
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
With their proximate causes and their escape clauses
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.

With "affirmative defenses" - I would rather see a dentist.

There are rats there are bats
There are stinky mangy cats
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
There are weasels there are skunks
There are bandits there are punks
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
With their quips and their quiddities
Their fees and their contingencies
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.