Earth Is The Best

Mercury's day is 59 days long, 800 degrees the sun seems so strong.
Venus is hotter by a hundred degrees. It turns the wrong way and is hard to breathe. CO2 gas makes me so depressed.
Earth is next in line and Earth is the best.

Now Mars' year is almost twice as long. It's cold and those dust storms seems so strong.
Jupiter is just way too big, with 16 moons just makes me sick
Saturn is not dense and with that it's blessed, but it can't beat Earth because Earth is the best.

Earth is the best.

Uranus is the 7th planet from the sun with a stupid name that is just plain dumb
Neptune is cold and it smells real bad like sick ammonia and methane gas.
Earth has its faults and that we confess, but you cant beat Earth because Earth is the best.

Poor little Pluto is so damn small; some people don't think that it's a planet at all.
Clyde thinks so and that's good enough for me.
It beats planet X which you can't even see.
The asteroid belt, man, give it a rest.
You can't beat Earth cause Earth is the best.

[chorus]
"Earths Got Chinese Food And Microphones
Earths Got Orbit And He Likes Ice Cream Cones
Earths Got People Who Are All Alone
Earths Got Hot Rod Cars and Al Capone"

Then for the next 2 times its

"Earths Got Chinese Food And Micropones
Earths Got Porno Stars and Ice Cream Cones
Earths Got People Who Are All Alone
Earths Got Andrea and Slide Trombone"