You remind me of
A version of myself
That never learned
To self reflect

Passive aggression is your route of choice
I think you like being mad
Oh you do, it’s kinda sick

So hold your breath
Take a sip of water
Count to ten
Think of your happy place

<

I still think about what you said
I still hear it ring in my head
I'm counting the colors I haven’t bled
Warming the layers I haven’t shed

Recurring dreams of a place in time
Where I wake up and I'm feeling fine
Resurface the mental dichotomy
Of what’s ahead or in f

I don’t think I have the energy
To make it out of my bed today
It’s not even a bed
I’ve been sleeping on an air mattress
With a hole for almost three months

Sometimes when I can’t sleep
I can feel the space I’ve put between
The only people I’d risk everything for

You had your warning
But your greed, it clogged your ears
And now you start to see it
We've been telling you for fucking years

Blood on your hands
Dead in the water
You won't know what you have done
Until it's over

Blood on your hands
Dead in the water

Go ahead
Throw me the rope you know I'm too afraid to take
Hand me the vase you know I'll drop
And watch it shatter, watch me fumble for the pieces
You've got me comfortable
In this pit that you dug just for me
You've seen how I tend to stay
When I know I'm supposed t

I can lie too
I know you don't think I have it in me
But what if I do?
Woke up feeling like myself today
For a minute there, I
I couldn't tell who's who

I've said it once to you before
And I'll say it all again real slow this time
I won't miss losing out on what

I'm probably never gonna clean this house again
I'm probably never gonna see your mom again
We’ll probably never see eye to eye, oh
I know exactly when you’ll say goodbye

I never wanna hear that tone of voice again
I never wanna see that stupid look on your face again
I

I guess I'm staying on the couch today
I guess you’re making all the rules
I’ll take a push, but you give a shove
And I'm getting weaker by the day

I’ve always been the one to hesitate
I guess it started getting old
‘Cause I'm moving slow and I'm feeling gross
And w

I heard you were trying to better yourself
But I don’t really care to hear it
I don’t really keep my ears open for that anymore

I heard you were getting a little lonely
But if anything you have each other
I’m not gonna be your feminine vessel
To pour into anymore

You tried to break me down
You warped every mirror in my house
But I see through it now
And I know I'm not looking at a monster

And I won’t let you get
I won’t let you get away with this
'Cause I was always the strong one
And I will always be the strong one here

Do you remember the things I used to tell you?
About all the things I wanted to feel
But thought I wasn't allowed to?
How I was happy in my dream last night and
Didn't feel guilty when I reached for your hand
I wanna see it in my sleep again
Wanna be told it's not a deadl

I've been avoiding this conversation
Don't want to ruin your reputation
I think you got a misdiagnosis
You just don't know what control is
Say you're sorry with a thousand roses
You wanna make it right

You got me laughing now
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
You wa

Thought I was safe this time around
For what it’s worth, you said you wouldn’t do this
But if I keep this up, I know good
And well, I need to learn that

This is more than a coincidence
I’ve seen it happen one too many times
You knew exactly who you stood behind
You

I drained you when you were empty this time, you were right
You thought it was for validation, maybe you were overthinking it
I think you were

I tried to tell you what I meant by those words that night
I didn’t wanna make assumptions, and you didn’t wanna say it
I’m glad yo

I almost went back on what I said
I almost let you make me look pathetic
I can't decide if I'm glad that I brought it up
‘Cause now I can’t look you in the eye
And tell you I'm alright
You said winter's coming in
And I’ll have to hold you then

I almost bought a bran

I’ve been watching you
And it’s a pretty dance you often do
It rings a bell front row and center pew
And I can taste them
The edges of your words are trimmed in gold
And separated into verses in the back of my tongue

And I see ashes on your forehead
That aren’t ther

And you started to look ahead
You took a step back and then you, you, you
And you started to look afraid
You took a step back and then you, you, you

If none of it mattered
Then why did I see you trying
And why did I see you crack
When I started to notice that you co

You always told me I’d get over it
I always said that you were wrong
I'm disappointed, but not surprised
Some kind of quick-witted monologue

You said that you could almost picture it
But it's not smart to shit where you eat
And when I said I would consider it
I was

You talk too much
I can't hear my own thoughts
Over your performative opinions
I'll take it up with all your little minions
‘Cause they're afraid of you anyway

I think I'll pass, after all no one asked
I guess they don't have to
To get a piece of you tonight

O

I can feel you breathing
You're filling up this room
I can hear you teething
I've watched you since the fucking womb

I see you pacing
It's a guilty plan
Your thoughts are screaming
And I know them like the back of my fucking hand

Count to ten
Count to ten<