Fill the empty spaces of my mind
With open-ended questions just to give me something to do
I'll run around the room or sit completely still just to figure it out
'Cause I need something to get me out of bed
And the days just go so slow
More time to make something out of nothi

My body and blood, Lord
My soul and my skin
I'm not sure what they're there for
But I know where they've been

I'm waking up with bruises I don't recognize
I think I died last night
And in a strange twist of fate
I woke up in the same tired state as I do every day

It's beginning to feel like the end times
I think I'll waste away in bed
'Cause every time I read the news, it's Armageddon in my head
I guess I could have just been more compliant
I could have put faith into these hands
Instead, I buried them in guilt of things I still don't

I slept on the floor
I knew that it was coming
And I think I destroyed the lining in my stomach
And I almost thought I would stay
You said you only sleep alone
You drove me home, your eyes bitter and vacant
'Cause we settled for sex and awkward conversation
And I thin

They think they put me back into my place
But everybody better start acting their age
'Cause I’ve been on the phone every day with another person
Talking bout my motives like I did this just to hurt someone
But I’ll take it

'Cause I know that you’re grieving
Just tell m

Head trauma
Rush of blood
As if life wasn't enough
I wish I could be oblivious like them
Cold water
Certain death
You were right to second guess
My motives were so wrong and self-obsessed
But how will I move on from here?
I'll run away, grow out my beard
I

I thought of going back to Jesus
I thought of throwing life away
I thought of every possible outcome
It all felt the same

Inner searches going nowhere
Habit pushing me to pray
Tell me a way to get out and to still be saved

I threw my phone across the kitchen
B

I thought of all the things that led to the times that I've been sad
I thought of all the strange behaviors I could never understand
Like shaking in your bed
Keeping secrets from my family
The bitter remains of the sick, twisted game we played

Stay awake
Stay awake

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