Year Of The Horse

It's been a while since I last cried
I drown out the thoughts of suicide
With chemicals and lots of pills
I guess its still cheaper than a hospital bill

But now I feel so numb and empty
I woudn't care if the world was ending
I have goals and pacific coast dreams
I also have low self esteem

Socrates and the apostles creed
And everything else that I've ever believed
Is it all a sham
Is it all a lie?
I admit I'm afraid to die

Alone
Alone
I don't want to die alone
Alone
Alone
I don't want to die on my own

I just wanna tour around the world
And matter the most to just one girl
But I dont think that I ever will
Everything moves fast but I stand still

Now I am so numb and empty
I wouldn't care if the world was ending
I've got problems with no remedies
I've also got self destructive tendencies

I'm a fucking loser and I dont talk to girls
And I've never had a teenage romance unfurl
I listen to the beach boys in the darkness of my room
And I make my own music in the hopes of getting you

With me
With me
In holy matrimony
With me
With me
I am so lonely