The Unlikely Gymnast

Well, I would make an unlikely gymnast
But I'm obliged to give it a try
It was one of those conversations
It was one of those nights

But this morning I tried to do a cartwheel
And my body started showing it's age
Although I grin and beared it like a champion
I could feel the aches and pains

I took the title Mr Rolly Polly
I get myself a spandex suit
I do whatever I have to
I'm gonna vault that horse

I'm gonna roll until my wheels fall off
I'm gonna walk from there
I think it's time I learnt to do a somersault
Give me a bunk up dear, hey, give me a bunk up dear, hey! Hey!

I'm happy that I'm here and that I'm healthy
I'm up for trying new things out
Have you got a pair of balls of steel that I can borrow
Let's get the crash mats out

All I need's a teacher and a trainer
And some teammates to show me the way
I know a family in Scarborough
Who said they'll teach me today

I'm gonna roll until my feet get wet
I'm gonna swim from there
I think it's time that I learnt to do a somersault
Give me a bunk up dear, hey, give me a bunk up dear, hey! Hey!

I talk a lot of shit when I get hammered
I'm known for concocting wild and crazy plans
Do you remember that time last weekend
When I said I was going to make gymnastics sexy again