Had A Friend

"You know it's a really hard thing trynna have friends in this world. I aint even really got that many. It's probably cause I'm so fucked up in the head nobody wants to stay around that long. That's okay though, people that matter are still around, that's what's good. I don't know it was like I was listening to the rising tide and it really got me thinkin, that's why I did this. Cause you wanna know what mane? It ain't just you. Me too."

I had a friend named Victor
Well actually really wasn't much of a friend
He would just bully me whenever he could seems like it would never end
See he would beat me up, steal my bike, oh-so-cliche
But the next day he be knockin at the door like nothin lookin to play
I dealt with it cause nobody else liked me
And I thought that at some point he would come down and not always wanna fight me
But it turns out that he had lots of problems and his family was cracked
Drugs and alcohol and things like that
So I tell ya this: he lived a fast life
Not the type to study much and always comin home late in the night
All the other kids thought that he was tight
Even them highschoolers too
I guess everyone loves maniacs that just has to be true
Time passed and I did two finally moved outta that town
It's a good thing too, one more year and I would have burned it down
I'm serious. Anyway, time just kinda tick-tocked
And it isn't like after I left either one of us ever talked
I don't know what he was doing, don't know the where don't know the why
Don't really care he was just somebody that used to make me cry
So I red when I see his eyes
And little to my surprise
Anybody else that would ever try to send his voice into my mind
Made me a true cynic when it came to having my friends
I lost a lot because of all the wrong signals I would send
Over backwards I would bend
Just to have someone around
I could be the peasant and you would wear the crown
I frown when I look back but I guess Karma is consistent
And it stays with you regardless of how longly you say it didn't
Cause this kid didn't even get to make it till 18
Drove a motorbike a little bit too fast goin over a bridge and crashed into a tree
Truly a tragedy and that's a fact I can't lie
When he died I was stuck with a weird feeling inside
Was I glad that he was gone or was I sad that he was young?
That shit don't deserve to happen to anyone
Two divorced parents lost a son a brother lost a friend
And all that I lost was a little feeling that someday I'd see him again
I won't pretend I didn't care didn't cry
My sister did I don't know why
They weren't friends, she knew him though, I guess it was just because he died
When she tole me I replied,
Why are you crying?
She said it was so sudden and so surprising
Tried being upset but I just couldn't, cause every time that I did
All that I could see was the way that he treated me when the both of us were kids
Does that make me a bad guy? Well maybe it does
But I'm just not gonna feel sorry for what is and what was
If y'all believe in heaven then I'm hoping that he made it
Even though he was my enemy and the memory is faded
Cause sometimes the war is changin and even when I hate it
This is life and I just get one so it's always appreciated
Anything that happened was specifically for a reason
Even if I don't know what it was by the time that I will leave it
Believe it