Failure

Dual personality, haunts me each moment of this lie:
A functional slavery.
Abundant thoughts bring me madness,

And cut deep inside this: my newly turned subconscious mind.

Why is there so much hatred?
When, did it become true?
Why, is this grief consuming me?
This can´t be true

Sometimes in my newborn dawn, i wish the dead of the sun,

The light that cannot shine no more.
But i´m wrong.
Sometimes in my silent tomb, the lifeless call and ask me to embrace the cold,
But i won´t.

Why, can i be so wrong?
When, did i loose the focus?
What turned my sky into a blurry black pit?

Its time to come back and defeat my demons

The brightest light, shines but hidden in my soul,
Someone help me, i need to feed me from it.
Let it reign my soul

Take me higher,
Let me feel again.

My paralized, drowned feelings,
Need to be no more.
>
Every falling tear hurts more,

I am a failure, i hurt the ones i love.
I am the blade that cuts me from myself

I try to change, but my eyes are blurred

But why, is there so much hatred?
When, did it become true?
Why, is this grief consuming me,
This monster can´t be true.
>
Help me, save me,
The hidden light must apear

My sorrow needs to be blown out from me.

The first string is supposed to be the strong one.
Irony.
The first string is supposed to lead the lost.
Save me.

Take me again, and let me come in forever
I know i have really tried, but my trying is a pity.
Let me see the light around me.

The first string is already broken by mi deeds,
I have it all, i had it all, my existence is so wrong. failure.
The garden of delights is next to my inferno,
Full of the feelings, the love and warmth

But i can not feel.
What is wrong?