Adelaide's Lament

The average unmarried female
Basically insecure
Due to some long frustration
May react
With psychosomatic symptoms
Difficult to endure
Affecting the upper respiratory tract
In other words
Just from waiting around
For that plain little band of gold
A person can develop a cold
You can spray her
Wherever you figure the strept-o-cocci lurk
You can give her a shot for whatever shes got
But it just won't work
If shes tired of getting the fish-eye
From the hotel clerk
A person can develop a cold

It says here
The female remaining single
Just in the legal sense
Shows a nuerotic tendency
See note, Note
Chronic organic syndroms
Toxic or hypertense
Involving the eye, the ear, and the nose, and throat.
In other words
Just from wondering whether the wedding is on or off
A person can develop a cough
You can feed her all day with the Vitamin A
And the bromo fizz
But the medicine never gets anywhere
Near where the trouble is
If shes getting a kind of a name for herself
And the name aint "his"
A person can develop a cough
And further more
Just from stalling and stalling
And stalling the wedding trip
A person can develop La Grippe

When they get on the train for Niagra
And she can hear church bells chime
The compartment is air conditioned
And the mood sublime
Then they get off at Saratoga
For the 14th time
A person can develop La Grippe
La Grippe, La post nasil drip
With the wheezes and the sneezes
And a sinus that's really a pip
From the lack of community property
And a feeling shes getting too old
A person can develop a big, bad, cold!