She cooks with lard
Loves hot food bars
A quart of sweet tea
And fried pork skins
Can't get enough
Eat still she's stuffed
Goes to the bathroom
And then she comes back again

She thinks she looks just like Madonna
When she runs her greasy fingers through her

He-he-he-he-he lets see here now...one...nine hunderd...
Hm-hm-hm boy, I sure hope I get a purdy'n.
Maybe she'll look like Terry Clark or Faith Hill or somebody.
Hm, hope this ain't a party line.
Here we go!

Ha-ha. I's laid up 'na house watchin' C.M.T.
Thought I'd

Hey everybody welcome out tonight
hope you're having a good time out there
Don't forget the waitresses and a coming up next
we got Sheena on the main stage
Athena on the disco
And don't forget we got
:(chorus) Take it off baby
: Those recliner dancers in the back

Hey everybody welcome out tonight
Hope you're having a good time out there
Don't forget the waitresses and a coming up next
We got sheena on the main stage
Athena on the disco
And don't forget we got
:(chorus) take it off baby
: those recliner dancers in the back

(recording)
Track 4 "270 Somethin'"
Parody of Mark Wills' "19 Somethin'" by Mark Wills
Enjoy

Wooo
(spoken)
You know a man does have to eat him somethin'

I love candy bars...eat them all the time
My combo meal's are super-sized
And I crave the stuff they pu

Yeah
Like what skip a rehearsal
You know we got the CMA Awards tomorrow night
What are we gonna do about a drummer
(to a kid)
Hey you come here
You ever played drums before

No

Want to

Yeah

Get in there and beat 'em then
OK hot dog
Start too

UHH

CHORUS
All I want for Christmas is two gold front teeth
(What?)
Two gold front teeth
With a diamond in each
I'd be a G if I could have two front teeth
That I'd wish you a funky Christmas

It's Christmas
And I'm toothless
(Ho ho)
I got a cap in m

I was sitting there, with my fork in hand
Staring at my lousy ravioli can
As she walked right in and said to me
Is there any way that I can make your day complete
I told her if there's anyway you can
Could you grease up that old metal roasting pan

And bake me a country

I can smell the onions floating in the air
Must be something that you ate
I can't imagine how your mouth must taste
Forgive me if I turn away

The slightest whiff just brings me to my knees
Almost pass out in your arms
I need a gas mask every time that you come near

Well she won't wear her contacts, she won't wear glasses
So she can't see me while I'm makin' passes
And every time she tries to kiss me she misses by a mile
Because my little baby loves me cadirac style

I remember the first night we started datin'
Both of her pupils were d

I don't want another fruitcake,
I don't need another ugly tie...NO!
Heard they had a sale on go karts
Down at Wal Mart
Ho ho a good buy.
Got no money in my pocket.
Can't believe it's Christmastime.

It's the crowds that bug me
Stuck in traffic like this.
It's

Shortcut to part of Cledus T. Judd Lyrics
Cledus T. Judd - 1-900-Sheila Lyrics
Cledus T. Judd - 1/2 Lyrics
Cledus T. Judd - 270 Somethin' Lyrics
Cledus T. Judd - A Night I Can't Remember Lyrics
Cledus T. Judd - All I Want For Christmas Is Two Gold Front Teef Lyrics
Cledu

She said a "hey plow boy done ate half a cow
And I still can hear your big old belly growl"
So I steamed up a fresh heap of broccoli for you
You've got calories to burn and some pounds to lose

Well you can bring that broccoli with squirrel and dumplings
Cause Cledus don't s

It's Thursday night down at Taco Mac
It's like a can of sardines the way the place is packed
They're piled in here for just one thing
It aint the beer battered greased soaked onion rings
To hear (Cledus) the karaoke king

Well Im the biggest star that ever hit this town

Cledus went down to Florida, he was lookin' for a car to steal
He was in a bind, ten payments behind, so the bank repo'd his wheels
When he came across this old man down at Jalopy's Used Car Lot
Then Cledus jumped up on the top of one and said, "Feller, let me tell ya what
Now I'

SANTA
HO HO HO HO HO
hohohohohohoho
And what do you want for Christmas little Sam?

SAM
I want the Billy Gilman action figure

SANTA
What about you Suzie?

SUZIE
I want the Grand Old Opry nativity scene

SANTA
And what about you Cledus?

CLEDU

Cledus at the kitchen table
Short of breath, legally disabled
Wife walks in, she's so surprised
Can't believe I'm still alive
I say I'm hungry for biscuits and gravy
That patty melt that you always made me
But I can't eat that anymore

They say grease kills;
Tast

A mason jar full of shine
A CD of Leann Rhimes
Is what I bought for our anniversary tonight
Now here I stand with my petunias in hand
And you've got a headache again

I hit a yard sale cut my toenails
Trimmed my nose hairs just right
I thought you'd be impressed

They never should have messed with New York City
Kha ha They don't want none of old Uncle Sam
We stare right in the face of terror
And you know Lady Liberty still stands
With F-15s and our special forces
God bless everyone we sent
To defend freedom and our nation
And

Robert Ellis Orrall/Dennis Amcro
EMI April Music Inc./TKids Music controlled by EMI April Music Inc. (ASCAP)/Dennis Amoco Music (ASCAP)

MINISTER
I'd like to welcome everybody again and say how good it is to see you out
at the annual Holy Roller Hall Christmas fund raiser. And u