Wherever He Ain't

[Mabel]
This ninny of a puppet was available the second that he called!
And all he had to do was yell "Hey, Mabel"
and this dumb hash slinger crawled!
For seven lousy years I've watched him swear and shove and shout
"with you or without you"
Well it's gonna be without

I gotta give my life some sparkle and fizz
And think a thought that isn't wrapped up in his
The place that I consider paradise is
Wherever he ain't! Wherever he ain't!
No more to wither when he's grouchy and gruff
No more to listen to him bellow and bluff
Tomorrow morning I'll be strutting my stuff
Wherever he ain't! Wherever he ain't!

It's time for little Nell to rebel
If he's in Heaven, I'll go to Hell!
I walked behind him like a meek little lamb
And had my fill of his not giving a damn
I'll go to Sydney or Ceylon or Siam
Wherever he ain't! Wherever he ain't!

Enough of being bullied and bossed
Ta-ta Auf Wiedersehn and get lost!

My little love nest was a terrible trap
With me behaving like a simpering sap
And so I'm looking for a spot on the map
If he's going south
I'm going north
If he's going back
I'm going forth
Wherever he ain't!