This One Is For Myself

They say take your time
Yet, the pressure is coming from all sides
While I'm searching for something that I was denied
And be whole again

Haunted by these feelings I was lured into these trials
To rebuild my faith
But everything was blurry, I got trapped into denial
And became insane

This is the price that you pay once you know dispair
The sins of a monster who I don't recognize as myself

I'm falling down from my ego
I'm drowning, sinking in my fears
Acceptance is not on my side, I am lost
Amidst countless goodbyes
Now shame, guilt and sadness
Are my only retreat

I say in my time
Yet, the pressure is coming from inside
While I'm dealing with someone who I can't deny
And set myself free

Days becoming weeks while I was falling to my knees
I tell you, there're no games
And many were the questions that I answered with confessions
So, am I insane?

Am I just self destruction
There's wreckage falling over me
It seems my life turned upside down
I am gathering my pieces around
With shame, guilt and sadness
Always following me

I'm falling down from my ego
I'm drowning, sinking in my fears
Acceptance is not on my side, I am lost
Amidst countless goodbyes
Now shame, guilt and sadness
Now shame, guilt and sadness
And now, shame, guilt and sadness
Are my only retreat