I Got Heaven

I went and walked myself
Like a dog without a leash
Now I’m growling at a stranger
I am biting at their knees
And if I wanted it, you really think
I’d wait for the permission?
For protection and assurances that all would be delivered?

And like our fathers did
Our mothers did
And them and those before
And you say you want a difference
The honor to be yours
And like our fathers did
Our mother did
And them and those before
The echo and a retell
Of some shit we’ve heard before

And what if we stopped spinning?
And what if we’re just flat?
And what if Jesus himself ate my fucking snatch?
And what if I’m an angel?
Oh what if I’m a bore?
And what if I was confident would you just hate me more?

Oh, I got heaven inside of me
Oh, I’m an angel
I was sent here
To keep you company

I’m on an endless march to nothingness
With only breath inside my chest
And the promise of a life
That you deserve, that you thought best
I’m stuck inside my loneliness
I’m stuck inside my grief
I wish I could have been there
To save you from the reach
I am spiteful like a God
Seek a vengeance like the rest
For what they did to you
I will never lay to rest

It’s raw and unrelenting
It is absolute regression
It is vileness wrapped up
And disguised as happy endings

Oh, I got heaven inside of me
Oh, I’m an angel I was sent here
To keep you company