Cheer Captain

I was nine and talking to God in the shower
I knew he was busy, said: Sorry to bother
But why am I so bad at being pretty like my mother?
I wanted to please her
Guess I've always been a people pleaser

I tried to be quiet, play nice
But I knew I wasn't doing it right
And I cried, wiped my eyes, and then smiled
'Cause they didn't know I was living a lie
I don't know when it happened
But I don't wanna be your cheer captain

I shouldn't have called, I know he's probably busy
And when he fucks me over I'll say that I'm sorry
And then I'll take it all off so he says that he wants me
'Cause I'm a people pleaser

And now he's doing lines with the boys on a Monday
Showed up at my house, all strung out, like, a day late
Watched his stupid band at the club, no one else came
I'm a people pleaser, but I don't want to be her

I tried to be quiet, play nice
But I knew I wasn't doing it right
And I cried, wiped my eyes, and then smiled
'Cause they didn't know I was living a lie
I don't know when it happened
But I don't wanna be your cheer captain

How did I let it happen?
I don't wanna be your cheer captain
I was so sad then
I don't wanna be your cheer captain
Wish that I knew then
That I don't wanna be your cheer captain