Awkward Erections

Why now? Oh body fuck why now?
You've been so well behaved, oh body fuck why now?
She's gonna think I'm a freak pervert
No! Why now? Oh body fuck why now?

So I took her to the pics
To see Schindler's list (oh, yeah, how did it go?)
It was going kinda well until she tapped me on the leg
Is that smoke I can smell? (oh, this is gonna be good)

The place lit up like blackpool pier
And I came to terms with dying in here
They said: Get out, find your nearest exit
But I got a bigger problem than brexit

Why now? Oh, body fuck, why now?
You've been so well behaved, oh, body fuck, why now?
She's gonna think I'm a freak pervert
No! Why now? Oh, body fuck, why now?

Why does this always happen to me
When I don't need it?
Another case of life being unfair
I swear it's nothing personal, oh, nevermind

So I try to start thinking about something
That'll get this modest tent to shrink
So I wrack my brain for the worst things I've ever seen
10 pages deep in a search for naked pics of The Queen

I Google roadkill, blue waffle and Madonna's teeth
I've started doubting myself, maybe this is my thing

Oh, wait, it's going down
I think I might be good
But then she grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet
In silence, the three of us stood

Why does this always happen to me
When I don't need it?
Another case of life being unfair
I swear it's nothing personal, oh, nevermind

Oh, what a fuck up
I should get this thing fucking locked up
She's offering to blow it (blow it, blow it)
And I said, nothing and exploaded, oh!

Why does this always happen to me
When I don't need it?
Another case of life being unfair
I swear it's nothing personal

Why does this always happen to me
When I don't need it?
Another case of life being unfair
I swear it's nothing personal