The Royal Nonesuch

She's got one big breast in the middle of her chest
And an eye in the middle of her nose
So says I, if you look her in the eye
You're better off looking up her nose

Whoever you are, wherever you've been
You've come this far
Well, come on in
See the nonesuch

I get up early, I stay up late
I've seen it before
But I still can't wait
To see the nonesuch

(REPEAT CHORUS)
Because the nonesuch will be exhibited in a state of nature
No ladies will be permitted
But the education of no man or boy is complete
Until he has witnessed this shocking spectacle

Believe you me
It's the best of the best
I know what I'm saying I've seen the rest
The nonesuch

It'll strike you blind
With a heave and a sigh
But come up close enough
To risk one eye

For the nonesuch
She's got hound dog ears that hang down to here
And lips like the bud of a rose
So says I, if you look her in the eye
You're better off looking up her nose

Only fifty cents, the one half port of o dollar
Servants ten cents
I've been to Natchez and to New Orleans
But this beats anything I've ever seen
The nonesuch
I've your money, I can see your face
Now come on in and take your place
For the nonesuch
Well, it ain't no woman and it ain't no man
And it don't wear very many clothes
So says I, if you look her in the eye
You're better off looking up her nose